The conversation cup* is a visible, tangible reminder of who is speaking and who needs to be quiet.  It can help group members listen to each other without interrupting and pause before speaking. 

The first person holds the cup to begin the conversation then passes it to his left.  This is continued until the cup has been passed around the circle a couple of times then the conversation ends in silence or the cup may be placed in the middle for further discussion. 

Rules for using the cup:

      The one holding the cup may speak or be silent.  
      The leader speaks only when she has the cup.
      Be silent when you do not have the cup.
      Speak up for yourself without putting anyone down.
      Give everyone equal time to share. 
      When the cup is in the middle, anyone may speak. 
      Do not take advantage of emotional vulnerability.  
      
Create a “no put down zone”. The value of using the conversation cup is to allow people to be vulnerable, NOT to be attacked.  That openness must be protected so that conversations can build trust.

 *The cup is an adaptation of the ancient traditions of several cultures.  It is a subtle reminder of the openness of the conversation and hints at the questions - what’s in my cup that I need to empty and what do I want to fill it with?

Suggestions for Creating a Conversation Group or Book Study

Adapt these directions to fit the group’s needs. Decide how often and how long the group will meet and take turns leading the process. Assign a chapter, topic, or question for each session. Follow the guidelines for using the conversation cup.

The leader begins the conversation by summarizing the chapter, reading important passages or speaking a few minutes about the topic. When he is done, he passes the cup to the person on his left.**  The group may respond to the following questions.

What are your thoughts?
What are your stories?
What surprised or inspired you?
What questions does this raise?
    

** It is the leader’s responsibility to monitor the time so that everyone has an equal opportunity to share. A chime can be used to remind people of the time. 

Alone in the darkness
Alone in the light
The fear is the same...

Dare you?
In the light, you must.
It is your only choice for life.

"Darkness and Light"
Reba Herder