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The 10X10 Challenge
Schedule 10 hours a year to talk with people outside of your comfort zone. Listen carefully to 10 people who are different than you each year. Find out what is important to them. Tell them what you admire about them.
Practice listening to others without interrupting.
Pause before you speak.
Practice giving positive reinforcement for good behavior.
If 10 people do this for 10 people who each do it for 10 more people and this challenge is accepted just 10 times, we would have the ability to surround all 6 billion people on the planet with appreciation.
What do you appreciate in people?
What are some ways you could schedule ten hours a year?
Some opportunities for conversation are clubs, family reunions, professional development, volunteering. What are other opportunities for conversation?
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The Conversation Cup
The conversation cup* is a visible, tangible reminder of who is speaking and who needs to be quiet. It can help group members listen to each other without interrupting and pause before speaking.
The first person holds the cup to begin the conversation then passes it to his left. This is continued until the cup has been passed around the circle a couple of times then the conversation ends in silence or the cup may be placed in the middle for further discussion.
Rules for using the cup:
The one holding the cup may speak or be silent.
The leader speaks only when she has the cup.
Be silent when you do not have the cup.
Speak up for yourself without putting anyone down.
Give everyone equal time to share.
When the cup is in the middle, anyone may speak.
Do not take advantage of emotional vulnerability.
Create a “no put down zone”. The value of using the conversation cup is to allow people to be vulnerable, NOT to be attacked. That openness must be protected so that conversations can build trust.
*The cup is an adaptation of the ancient traditions of several cultures. It is a subtle reminder of the openness of the conversation and hints at the questions - what’s in my cup that I need to empty and what do I want to fill it with?
Suggestions for creating a conversation group or book study
Decide how often and how long the group will meet and take turns leading the process. Assign a chapter, topic, or question for each session. Follow the guidelines for using the conversation cup.
The leader begins the conversation by summarizing the chapter, reading important passages or speaking a few minutes about the topic. When he is done, he passes the cup to the person on his left.** The group may respond to the following questions.
What are your thoughts?
What are your stories?
What surprised or inspired you?
What questions does this raise?
Adapt these directions to fit the group’s needs.
** It is the leader’s responsibility to monitor the time so that everyone has an equal opportunity to share. A chime can be used to remind people of the time.
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